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Thursday
Mar122015

10 Things 'The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt' Gets Right About NYC

 

 

Yes, Kimmy, this is what New York City is all about. (Credit: Netflix)

BY RACHAEL FUNK (REVIEWniverse Guest Contributor)

The first season of Tina Fey’s latest triumph, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (and here's the catchy theme song), was released on Netflix this month. It begins with a group of ladies, the “mole women” (as they are referred to in the Kimmy-Schmidt-media), getting rescued from the subterranean bunker where their underground apocalypse cult kept them hidden. The women realize the world has not ended, as they were told, but continued above them without detection for 15 years.

Immediately after their rescue, the mole women are featured on Today before they're allowed to go home and resume their lives in Indiana. During a moment of euphoric empowerment, Kimmy decides to stay in New York instead of following the group home.

 

The events that follow cut close to the bone if you are a 20-something female out in the world just trying your best, much like our girls at the Fey-BFF Amy Poehler-produced Broad City, which I raved about in a recent post

The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is an endearing look at New York through the eyes of a charmingly naive newcomer. Ellie Kemper, who we loved in...well, everything she's ever done (The Office et al), has now entered that hallowed hall of female comedy leads like Lucy, Carol Burnett, Mary Tyler Moore, Marlo Thomas, Fey and Poehler. From the pristine joke setups to the guest stars, this show is a solid hit and so easy to love.

As a transplant to New York myself, I get Kimmy Schmidt because in many ways I AM Kimmy Schmidt. The following is a list of 10 things the show gets 100 percent right about living in New York for the first time.

1.  You Don’t Have to Say You’re New (Everyone Can Tell)
First of all, get that shit-eating grin off your face. The only people who are constantly beaming like that are either about to wreck something or they’ve got their hand down their pants. It’s unnerving. You have an aura of freshness which hasn’t yet been dampened by the airborne dirt in the city, and it’s pissing everyone off. You get no points for moving here, so please stop bragging about it. New Yorkers KNOW they have the greatest city, so your best bet is to keep your head down and zip your lip. At least that way, fewer people will try to mug you out of spite.

2.  At Some Point, Something of Yours is Gonna Get Took
As noted above, you stick out. Especially if you’re wearing a damn backpack in a club, you asshole. Unless you’re going to wear that bag backwards, Moonbump style, there’s a good chance a grimy hand is going to find its way in there.

3.  Everyone is Batshit Insane
Most people have a good reason, though, so get out of the way. We all have places to be, and the fact that you’re taking your half of the sidewalk out of the middle is going to get you tackled.

4.  Unless You Know Someone, That First Apartment is Going to be a Doozy
Are you cool with living with a stranger, paying more than your half of the rent, and living in a closet? Good.

5.  “That is Definitely Not Miss Piggy”
If you’re not sure what you’re looking at, yes forward, keep moving. It’s better not to know.

6.  You Can Handle Anything for 10 Seconds at a Time
That goes for dealing with your friend’s eighth-floor walk-up, power outages on the subway and those special city nights when there’s nowhere to pee. Count it out, don’t panic. You’ll eventually find your way to Penn Station, where you can pee just about anywhere.

7.  Bringing Friends Back Home is Going to be Weird
But that’s true no matter where you move. Just fake it until you make it. Your old friends will warm up to the new ones.You'll have early morning madness! You'll have magic in the making! Yes, everything will be as if you never said, "Troll the respawn, Jeremy."   

8. You Might Develop “Very Distinct Scream Lines”

Always say no to the plastic surgery. Better to have scream lines than Dr. Framph’s face. I mean Dr. Grant.

Dr. Framph/Grant can cure your ills. The brllliant Martin Short, folks. (Credit: Netflix)

9. The Babysitters Club Series of Chock-Full-of-Wisdom-and-Information You Can Use Daily 
I always thought of myself as a Dawn, but follow your bliss, baby!

10.  New York Very Much is a Magical Wonderland
New York is like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory: You’re surrounded by orange people and you need to be really careful about what you put in your mouth. Use good judgment, and eventually you’ll be fine. Probably.

For more stuff like this, and other pop-culture thoughts, follow REVIEWniverse on Twitter and you can follow Rachael Funk on Twitter @FuntasticMe

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