Entries in Music (15)

Thursday
Jan122012

Katy Perry Refuses to Comment on Dad's Anti-Semitic Remark

REVIEWING THE NEWS: The pop star's Reverend dad makes ugly, hurtful comment about Jews during sermon, and she's staying mum.

 

By Kenny Herzog

Katy Perry: Daughter of a misguided preacher man.

 

Dating back to the holiday season, it's been a banner winter for ignorance toward Jewish customs and/or outright anti-Semitism. First, there was Mitt Romney's tossed-off Twitter sentiments toward his "Hannukah"-loving constituents, then a group of four men were pursued for allegedly spray-painting swastikas near Manhattan's Bryant Park and, right on that incident's heels, a Brooklyn jewelry shop incited residents' furor by selling earrings that eerily invoked the Führer. And now, we can add Katy Perry's father, Rev. Keith Hudson, to the list of individuals perpetrating prejudice stereotypes and/or casual slandering against Jewish people.

Hudson, while recently appearing as a guest sermonizer at Pastor Paul Endrei's Church of the Rise in Cleveland, was conveying the story of how God blessed Abraham. At that point, Endrei tells the Associated Press, Hudson "talked about being blessed so much that you would make a Jew jealous." Cause, ya know, modern-day Jews relate to enormous spoils. (Ugly, ugly, ugly stereotype.) 

Endrei, amidst his damage-control, insultingly added that only one out of his 300 congregation members objected to the joke. Talk about preaching to the choir. Hudson complied by issuing his own statement of contrition, making sure to specifically apologize for "hurt I caused my Jewish friends," which sounds awfully similar to when hompohobes defend their ignorance by boasting about all their gay acquaintances. Nice try, Keith.

And where was daughter Katy amidst all this? Granted, the former Christian songstress has been preoccupied dissolving the sanctity of that whole marriage thing with ex Russell Brand, but you'd think she could muster up better than having her agent tell AP "the singer does not comment on her personal life."

Katy: Gossiping about your own divorce and standing up for an entire minority of people, many of whom buy your records, are two very different things. If you're not embarrassed by your father's remark, then that's your business, and diverting attention away from your days as a faith-based artist is most certainly all business. But standing by as the man who raised you and molded you makes damaging, ignorant insinuations about millions of proud Jews isn't protecting your privacy, it's just selfish and immature. 

 

IN OTHER WORDS: Time to wake up from your "Teenage Dream," Katy.

KEITH HUDSON'S UGLY REMARKS: 0/10

KATY'S CONFLATING IMAGE-PRESERVATION WITH HUMANE OBLIGATION RATING: 0/10

WHERE ARE OUR PROUD JEWISH CELEBRITIES RATING?: 5772/10

 

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Monday
Jan092012

Get Well Soon, Tony Iommi

 

 

REVIEWING THE NEWS: On the verge of reuniting with his Black Sabbatah bandmates for an album and tour, founding guitarist and recent autobiographer Tony Iommi has been diagnosed with early stages of lymphoma.

 

By Kenny Herzog
Hopefully, the Iron Man will prove immortal.

 

There are times when life seems to get in its own way, and the timing is almost always cruel. Only two months after releasing his autobiography, Iron Man, and practically concurrent with the news that he and the remaining original Black Sabbath lineup—Ozzy Osbourne (vocals), Geezer Butler (bass) and Bill Ward (drums)—would record their first LP together in 33 years, Sabbath guitarist and founding member Tony Iommi has been diagnosed with an early onset of lymphoma.

 

The sad announcement arrives via the band's record label, and only elaborates to say Iommi is considering treatment options and will join his mates and producer Rick Rubin in a UK studio to continue work on their comeback album. They have not commented, as of yet, on whether the ensuing 2012 tour dates will be in jeopardy.

 

Rubin, of course, has helped artists from Johnny Cash to Neil Diamond age gracefully on record, and it will be fascinating to hear what he and heavy metal's most iconic doom architects create together. But chances are, any of the band's fans would wait another 33 years if it meant Iommi himself was given at least that many more.

 

IN OTHER WORDS: A speedy recovery to one of the great, unsung guitar innovators of all-time.

 

TONY IOMMI, CERTIFIED METAL LEGEND RATING: 10/10

 

TONY IOMMI, FUTURE LYMPHOMA SURVIVOR RATING: 11/10

 

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Wednesday
Jan042012

Who Cares About Mitt and Iowa? Justin and Jessica are (Reportedly) Engaged!

REVIEWING THE "DAAAAAMN, THAT'S GONNA BE ONE GOOD-LOOING BABY!" ENGAGEMENT NEWS: Justin Timberlake reportedly popped the question to long-time lover Jessica Biel, and this is one impending celeb nuptial that has us in seventh heaven.

By Crispin Reynolds

Somebody call hot police, cause these two are four-alarm hotties!

 

While all of America spent yesterday evening worrying about some Hanukkah grinch named Mitt and his silly caucus, US Weekly was preparing a bombshell story that put everything into focus. The tabloid alleges that Justin Timberlake popped the question of questions to his stunning piece of brunette babe-candy, Jessica Biel, way back in December whilst the pair was on holiday. 

Oh, deary me, oh my. Sad as myself and Jairem are that J-Timb is off the meat market, we're kvelling and are downright over the cherry moon for this sexy twosome of Manna from heaven. The only thing that could possibly sour our elation is if the news turns out to be false, and Us' "insider" sources get revealed as impostors. But until that moment arrives, we shall merely blush humbly in the wake of such marvelous undertakings.

 

IN OTHER WORDS: I haven't the faintest idea why I've suddenly channeled the spirit of a genteel southern dame.

JUSTIN AND JESSICA ENGAGEMENT RATING: Three Cheers!/10

THE POSSIBILITY OF IT BEING JUST A DASTARDLY RUMOR RATING: Heavens, No!/10

CAN JAIREM AND I ATTEND IF WE SAY WE'RE FROM THE MILITARY AND RECORD A YOUTUBE VIDEO ASKING TO BE INVITED? RATING: Oh, You're Too Kind/10

 

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Monday
Jan022012

Here's Why Katy Perry and Russell Brand Split Up

REVIEWING THE NEW YEAR'S FIRST NO-BRAINER CELEBRITY DIVORCE NEWS: We've got the real reason behind the pop singer and comedic actor's rapid separation.

By Kenny Herzog

Katy Perry: We think she'll bounce back. Get it? Cause she has huge boobs. 

 

Katy Perry and Russell Brand have shocked and awed the world with the announcement of their divorce, which is in process as we speak. And on an especially slow post-New Year's news day, it's been all the global media can talk about. Hell, the Today show even dedicated a bizarrely somber and extensive package to the stars and their failed marriage, lamenting its spiral from "fairy tale" to "Hollywood casualty." Yes, it is truly the Black Dahlia of inter-medium celebrity splits. 

But only REVIEWniverse has the true scoop. Rumor has it that Perry and Brand met-cute, found each other nice and attractive enough, and figured marriage would commonly ground their mutually demanding careers and act as a postitive bonding agent between she, the fallen evangelical Christian, and him, the constantly reforming bad boy. But eventually, the pair's differences became irreconcilable, and even their practical and earnest commitment wasn't enough to overcome their lack of lasting chemistry or time and willingness to make marriage itself their most important responsibility, allowing everything else to fall into place.

Scandal!

 

IN OTHER WORDS: Who cares? (Us!)

KATY AND RUSSELL DIVORCE-PREDICTABILITY RATING: 15 Months/10

AT LEAST IT LASTED LONGER THAN 15 DAYS RATING: Sinead O'Connor/10

MARRIAGE CAN BE BORING. PEOPLE DON'T BECOME FAMOUS TO BE BORING RATING: It Ain't Always About "Me" Babe/10

 


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Thursday
Dec222011

Adam Lambert and BF Get in Drunken Lovers' Spat, Get Arrested, Get Burgers

REVIEWING THE NEWS: Oy vey. Adam Lambert and Finnish Big Brother alum/bf Sauli Koskinen get wasted and cause a scene, and their hangover humiliation becomes global news? Yawn.

By Crispin Reynolds

See, Adam only fits the definition of one kind of swinger. (Credit: Djansezian/Getty)


Honeys, let me tell you all something: I've had my share of blackouts, and lord knows Jairem and I have lived through more than a lifetime's worth of Vodka-fueled spats. The only difference is niether of us are as Absolut a hottie as Adam Lambert's teeny little beau, Finnish Big Brother star Sauli Koskinen. (I wouldn't mind having him get under my Koskinen.) 

Also, we've never been to Helsinki, Finland, or to its fabulous DTM ("Don't Tell Mama") club, which is precisely where Lambskin got into their already notorious little tiff last night. Rumors have been flying all morning about their alleged scrape, but The Hollywood Reporter got the dish straight from Adam and Sauli's holding cell. In brief, the couple were intoxicated, arguing inside DTM, and then outside the club. Their friend, former Miss Helsinki (naturally) Sofia Ruusila (welcome to your 15 minutes, honey!), says she got in the middle and was accidentally thwacked by Lambert. 

Ruusila is fine, the gentlemen have been released, and Lambert has already Tweeted the following morning-after prose: "Jetlag+Vodka=blackout. Us÷blackout=irrational confusion. jail+guilt+press=lesson learned.Sauli+Adam+hangover burgers= laughing bout it. :)"

I'm not pretending that everyone's favorite should-have-been American Idol champ isn't capable of bad-boy celebrity antics, nor would there be anything to laugh about had he intentionally laid five fingers on Miss Helsinki (an act for which she could most certainly sue for five figures). But we can all assume Ruusila's account is the truth, because Lambert is a glamazon, not a gorilla. And, darlings, I know that "Better Than I Know Myself."

 

IN OTHER WORDS: See what I did there?

IF I HAD TO RELEASE A TWEET ABOUT BURGERS EVERY TIME I GOT DRUNK, INSULTED JAIREM AND WOKE UP IN A FINNISH INTERROGATION ROOM RATING: Millonaire!/10

HEY, WHATAYA WANT FROM ME? HE HAD ME AT "JETLAG+VODKA" RATING: 80 Proof/10

 

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